


Silver Cord

by lijjja



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Canon Related, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Memories, Near Death Experiences, Other, Sadness, hopelessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lijjja/pseuds/lijjja
Summary: In which Levi is reminded what truly, selfishly matters to him.
Relationships: Hange Zoë & Levi, Levi/Erwin Smith
Kudos: 9





	Silver Cord

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be honest, these are just some gaps I selfishly wanted to fill. 
> 
> SPOILER ALERT! This takes place somewhere in between Chapter 114 and Chapter 126 of the manga, with some canon-divergance. I wasn't satisfied with how they were presented. So, if you haven't read it, beware!!
> 
> Some of the text is used from the manga itself.

What was this place? Dark, damp and downright disturbing. There was no visibility past his own two feet, and the air was almost non-existant. Was he even alive? After that...  
  
The Beast Titan. Zeke. That suicidal motherfucker... How could he have known that - that manipulative shit stain would actually detonate the spear? Was he really ready to die? If so... What happens to the world now? The Marleyans, the Eldians, the people he cares about? Are any of them alive still?  
  
There's a sharp pain pricking through his face, like a puncture. How bad was the explosion? It feels as though his heart is in his hip, his guts intertwined with one another, suffocating him ever so snugly. It's fucking cold, too. When did he start bitching so much?  
  
_There's no one pursuing us now. Levi..._

What? Pursuing...? Hange? Was that them just now? How could he...?  
  
This place, this dark abyss of nothing. Could it be that he's still alive? If so, where are they? What's going on outside? More importantly, where are Zeke and Eren? If the rumbling commences there's no telling where the world might end up, all their work would be for nothing. The hate Eldians face... it will only grow stronger with genocide and-

_Levi_

Erwin?  
  
_I just... want to go to that basement..._

Erwin...  
  
_Can you see them? All our comrades...? Our comrades are watching us. They want to know what we will do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause, because... They may be gone, but their fight **isn't over.**_

That's right... Erwin. Fuck. If only it were you... No. No, the decision was made. There is no place for regret right now, even though I...  
  
  


"Well, that could've gone worse." He grumbled.

"Yes, well... It _is_ our responsibility to secure funds for the Corps, despite the unpleasantries we might face from our noblemen." Erwin sighed, dropping into his seat as they finally made it back. It was quite a tiring ride home due to the heavy rain.

" _Our_ responsibility? I don't remember ever signing up to kiss some politician's fat ass in order to finance whatever this was." Levi barked at the blond irritably. He shut the door behind them and locked it, securing their privacy to argue, because he wasn't backing down any time soon. " _And_ you got me wet. Did we really have to walk all the way from the barracks?" The man added with venom in his tone.

"Levi..."

"No! Don't _Levi_ me, you fucker. It might work on the new recruits but it doesn't work on me." Levi hissed, his feet leading him towards the desk his superior sat at, old rain nearly boiling to steam from how furious he was. "Showing me off like I'm some piece of meat - how dare you? Meeting after meeting... You insist I come with. Why? What good is it for me to be there if I'm just going to ruin your chances at cashing in? I don't even suck up to you; what makes you think I'm going to suck up to them?" Levi slammed his fists against the oak, rattling it's items.

It pissed him off, having to listen to those rich schmucks belittle their efforts to save _them_. And to have Erwin, _Erwin_ take that with a smile on his face... It didn't feel right. How could it?

A thick silence fell between the them, only droplets of rain hitting the windows cut through. Erwin was a master strategist. Surely, he knew when it was time to give up. So, the commander stood from his seat and rounded the corner, stopping just in front of his partner.

Levi grimaced. "What're you...-"

"They want to see you, Levi..." Erwin began. "They want to put a face to the title of Humanity's Strongest; as much as you might roll your eyes, you give them and our people hope to live another day. Even if they mock us, we can't turn our backs to humanity. That's what we vowed to when we joined the Survey Corps. That is our mission." There was a pause. "I don't like it either, but we have no choice, for now." He finished with yet another sigh, shifting to lean against the table behind before a hand came out to reach the latter, stopping just as it grabbed onto Levi's forearm, squeezing.

"I apologize for dragging you to these meetings, but, if it means anything... I'm just happy I don't have to endure them alone anymore, as selfish as it sounds..." Erwin added in hopes of forgiveness, a apologetic smile tugging his lips. He believed in Levi with all his heart, personal feelings aside, Levi was their sword in this battle.

And now, with little to no room to argue further, Levi groaned out a sigh of his own. Erwin and his speaches were so insufferable at times.

"You... You truly are a hopeless fucker, aren't you?" He sneered, this time with a lot less venom than before, causing the blond to bow his head. Despite his anger, Levi could never stay too mad at Erwin. After all, he was doing everything he could to provide his soldiers with an opportunity to fight back, and Levi respected that. Hesitant, the captain moved to step in front of him, fists balled just a bit. "All this lip; and you still couldn't tell me that before. When will you learn that keeping things like these inside that big head of yours is unnecessary? Have I ever betrayed your trust?" Levi clicked his tongue disapprovingly, eyes darting to the side in annoyance. "Even now, when we're..." He couldn't finish that.

Then, out of nowhere, there were hands present on his shoulders, hauling him forward, making the soldier lose his footing for a second.

Erwin, that big blond bastard embraced him tightly, as if they were saying their last goodbye, resting his chin on top of Levi's head. He didn't mind it, not this time. It was intimate, as it usually was when they were alone. "Even at this age... I fear losing someone dear to me through poorly chosen words; so I choose not to use any at all. I'm sorry, Levi... I hope my recklessness hasn't soiled our-"

Again, there was a click underneath him, " _Rose_... When did you get so emotional?" Levi moaned into the man's chest, almost too satisfied with it suffocating him. "Just shut up already. Wasn't it enough that I had to listen to that pig tell me where I should point my blade - now I have to listen to you bitch and moan like a heartbroken teenager..." Assertively, Levi lifted both hands to take hold of Erwin's face, squinting at him.

"This is your last chance to kiss me before I drown you in this annoying rain. You better take it."

Though he knew these threats were lighthearted, it wasn't wise to push his luck. Erwin wasted no time pressing his lips against Levi's, a pungent taste of fruity tea infiltrating his mouth; apart from a teasing tongue.

The feeling seemed so distant, yet so strong - Levi could almost feel the man's form safely in his arms, as if it were that night. But... He slipped away so soon, just out of reach, Erwin was waiting for him to come. Levi wanted to fight whatever was holding him back, despite it being his own promise to Erwin, that he would kill...

_Well... Now what do we do?_

_We can't stop Zeke on our own... Even if Eren betrayed Zeke..._

_You might feel like you're doing the right thing, but... Times change and you find yourself in a cell._

_Maybe we should just live here together. Right... Levi?_

There they are again, spouting bullshit, as always - Hange. Even in his dreams he can't prevent getting annoyed. What a-

**Hear me, all Subjects of Ymir. My name is Eren Yeager. I now speak to all Subjects of Ymir by way of the Founding Titan's power. Every wall on the Island of Paradis has been unhardened. All of the titans buried within them have begun to walk.**

**My goal... Is to protect the people of Paradis, who bore me and raised me. But, the world desires the extinction of the poeple of Paradis. Over countless years, their hatred has grown beyond this island. They surely will not stop until they have killed every one of the Subjects of Ymir**

**I reject their desire. The titans of the walls will trample and rumble all the lands beyond this island. Until the lives there... Are eliminated from this world.**

Was that... Eren? How did he? Is...

"Just now..."

Was that Hange again? They sound clearer than before - is he?

"Was that... The whole world... Eren..." Hange's voice pierced through rumbling; Levi could've sworn it was just his ears ringing, but it wasn't. Everything was profound.

Finally, at least something made sense. His whole body was aching and he couldn't move his lips very well, which meant that he was alive. Useless for now, but alive. Slowly, Levi rose from where his head rested and dared to squeeze his eyes open, leaning all weight on one arm to support himself - and even that hurt. Why were his fingers completely numb? Was the explosion that... That's right, Zeke... That prick nearly killed him. He's going to-

"Levi!" Hange roared.

"The Beast... That piece of shit... Where is he...?" Levi rasped through the tightness of his bandages, all he could see through his one eye was Hange as they rushed to his side, successfully pinning him back to the make-shift mattress underneath.

"You don't need to get up." They urged, "Zeke went to Shiganshina district with the Yeagerists. Half a day has passed since then..." Hange relaxed her hands on the man's chest, seeming reluctant with a coat of sweat over the wholeness of their face. "What... What happened, Levi?" They asked. Even in this sorry state, Levi could sense their sincere concern, which - as much as he didn't want to admit - tugged at what was left of his heart.

Begrudgingly, he spoke. "I screwed up..." Levi sighed, raising a weak hand, for what it meant. He was crippled by his inability to predict. "I wasn't able... To figure out he was ready to die..." Harsh truth, the sight of his two missing fingers struck a nerve in him. He remembered Erwin, again, how their one hope for humanity was also crippled at some point. It didn't mean shit now. "I let... Him get away again..." The look on Hange's face, it almost hurt to watch them, as if it were pity in their eyes. Though, that might just be his insecurity talking.

Gently, Hange explained to him all the knowlegde they possessed; how they were alone in the woods, fighting off whatever came their way, what their next move was... Inevitably, how Levi's revenge on Zeke had to wait until he was fully healed. Those words pained him more than anything. He wasn't able to stand on his own two feet anymore... It was humiliating, at least he thought so. But, the way Hange tended to his wounds, the stitches they administered to his torn skin, how careful they were - as if he were made of butterfly wings, it moved him.

They were desparate, and so was he.

"So, living out here together... It doesn't sound so bad, does it?" Levi blew a sigh through his nostrils, at least that small action didn't hurt as much as other ones did.

"I see you've heard me talking to myself." Hange complied.

"It's hard not to hear a familiar voice in that void." The man shifted, turning to his side to face the commander. Despite the strain of his limbs, seeing Hange's face made him relax, though he would never voice it. "What're you making over there? Not another fucking serum, I hope..."

They chuckled. "No, not this time."

Hange moved to stand up from their position beside Levi, it was time to check up on the stew. Levi was probably hungry after spending a whole day without food. There wasn't much, just some vegetables and spices they found in their travel pack, which they managed to salvage. "We don't have many resources out here, so we'll have to share if we want to stay alive." They added whilst stirring the pot, two bowls ready beside it.

"I see... So that's why I felt warmth at times, because you snuck beside me." Levi mumbled, half to himself half to Hanage.

"Well, what did you expect? I wasn't gonna freeze my ass off because you like your personal space." The commander scoffed, though, their expression told otherwise. Levi's wasn't any different. They weren't keen on pushing _certain_ boundaries, but at times like these... Doing so was a must for survival.

Levi snorted, "It's not like I was complaining, Four Eyes..." His gaze wandered further to his commanding officer, taking in the different light he saw them in. Hange was scared and restless. It was rare to see them this way, as rare as it was for them to see him so severely injured that he was bedridden. They saved his life. If it weren't for them, who knows where he might've wound up at. Probably with a bullet between his eyeholes.

-

They ate in silence. Once done, Hange collected their emply bowls and kneeled by the river to wash them, Levi cringed. If he could walk, he'd snatch them and wash them on his own accord, at least he'd know they were thoroughly cleaned. Aside that compulsive desire, he was to remain laying on his back, for whatever medical reason Hange told him. It made his body twitch, not being able to move around freely - He wasn't the type to lay around and wait on others. But, once the latter made it back, he felt compelled to strike a conversation, in his own strange way. 

"Did you, by any chance, clean me while I was out?" He asked lowly, still kind of mesmerized by the abomination he had to call his hand from now on. He couldn't flip anyone off with his right hand now, which was sad.

Slightly taken aback by the question, Hange slowed her movements, crouching to set the wooden bowls away in a worn down rag to dry. "What kind of question is that? I didn't bathe you, I couldn't possibly drag you to the river and back on my own, so, no. I did, however, rub you down with a wet cloth. You were covered in blood." They stated simply, in spite of an array of other questions popping up in their head.

Levi hummed, "Okay, well.. I still feel filthy. Mind fetching me that cloth?" It was an innocent question, but it might've struck a nerve.

"I'm not in the mood for games, Levi! The world's falling apart and all you can think of is cleaning yourself?" They snapped irritably, immediately noticing how rude it was for them to bark at a fellow -and only remaining- veteran. They didn't speak further, however. Hange suddenly thought of the position they were left with - the commander of the Survey Corps. A person that should lead soldiers into battle, hopefully returning with more injured than dead... If there were any mistakes Erwin made in his time, it was surely the one where he assigned them as the next leader to be, they thought. Hange didn't feel like they were cut out for leading others, that was a position much more suited for someone else... They reminisced of the times they spent cooped up in ther laboratory, examining titan remains among other things... It was far less stressful than this. And now, with an injured soldier on their hands... It was too much to bare.

"Hey..." He called, squinting at their superior with one good eye. A few moments have passed, and he was getting impatient. "You look like you're about to shit yourself. If you must, take it at least ten meters from here." Levi grumbled before laying back down, his uninjured arm used as a second pillow.

Sighing, Hange shook themselves out of the state of depair and grabbed their nearest bucket. They needed to redirect their hopelessness to something more productive, like for example, cleaning Levi. His wounds were due to get rebandaged again, at least that was something useful of their time, other than wallowing self pity. So, they muttered a short _sorry_ and set to fetch a fresh batch of water, which they would then boil and sterilize on the still roaring campfire.

If Hange played their cards right, they would be granted permission to sleep on something other than the cold floor, beside Levi.

**Author's Note:**

> As much as I wanted to write more, I lost all creativity, smh. Its shitty and rushed, but I needed to get it out of my system. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I'm working on a possible series, hopefully it'll be out by the end of this year. 
> 
> Till next time ❤️


End file.
